It's time for me to come out.

So here goes, a truth about me that I thought I would never really discuss. It is a question I have asked of myself before, but now I finally think I believe it.

I am a feminist.

The reason I have been reluctant to use this term so far is that I think it misses a fairly important point, in that it doesn't matter what gender we are (I won't get started on gender identity today, I'll take too long over it). But after certain considerations, I feel that I may as well embrace the term in the way I believe it should be.

So why the sudden outpouring? Well, anyone in Exeter, and probably every student town in the UK will have heard about the recent results of ShagAtUni's "UK's Horniest Student"award, won by one of the students here. Essentially a contest of who is having the most sex at university. Now, there are two problems I have with this in particular:

A) The contest itself is inherently dangerous to young people, the women involved especially.

B) The use of the term "feminist" by the winner.

Think about it, think about ALL the girls who entered this competition. Think about when people recognise them and how they might think "well, she definitely wants it". It's actually rather terrifying to consider. Most of us are lucky enough to have a fairly minimal presence online in this respect. We leave our footprints everywhere, but usually nothing incriminating (other than maybe a rather drunken singing/dancing video on YouTube). I genuinely worry about what the implications of such a presence are for young women especially. Unfortunately, the way we think about rape/assault is not conducive to this idea yet. Being openly promiscuous can land you in more trouble than the "fun" you're having.

I have no problem with the girl in question. If she's happy with the outcome of this then I have no right to meddle. But my problem is the fact that she proclaims herself a "modern-day feminist" in relation to this pretty abominable competition. I'm not saying here that modern feminists should be shunned for having lots of sex, this is not the point. The point is publicising it. Posing provocatively in your underwear with money pushed down the side of your knickers doesn't exactly scream FEMINISM at me. 

Again, this is not a personal attack. I've met this girl before, and from my few conversations with her, she's a very vibrant and nice person. All I will say is that I think this entire venture may have been ill-advised. The only reason I'm using this as an example is because it highlights something I've been worried about for a very long time: our culture of promiscuity. 

I wrote a while back about the lovely topic of "Lad Culture", but I think this needs expanding to a far wider context. Feminism has allowed women to be more liberal in the way that they conduct themselves in a social and sexual environment, which is great, don't get me wrong. What worries me is that the balance has tipped far too much. It seems to me that we're allowing ourselves to trivialise this (occasionally extreme) behaviour. I have always been an advocate of being in a relationship before anything sexual happens. It's just how I am. I tried being more open and free in my first year of university, but nothing ever really happened, it just never felt right and I ended up pretty miserable (if any of the guys I met are reading, no offence is meant by that). By the end of the summer term, I was crying to my flatmate saying how it just wasn't me. I will never go back to that life. Not just because I'm happily taken now, even if I wasn't, I'd never go back to it. It's empty for me. (See my article on relationships over promiscuity on page 16 in Exepose's Lifestyle section here)

But this is half of the issue, I felt like I needed to be like this as a student, like it was a right of passage. Since then, I've seen very young teenagers in sexual health clinics and have overheard some pretty crude and upsetting conversations that I'd be horrified to hear from adults let alone children. Again, I'm not saying we should restrict ourselves to the point of being chaste or frigid, but why are we so compelled to just go out there and "do it" with whoever, whenever? This need for what seems to be "sexual validation" has become part of culture, which baffles me. If there was ever an argument for the complete destruction of boundaries between public and private life, this would be it. 

But I digress. I guess what I'm trying to say is that we HAVE to change the way we think, not just about rape, but about sex. This is why I will stand up tall as a feminist. Women have fought for political and economic rights and have made incredible progress (in certain places, again, an argument for another day), so now we must stand up against the perversion of what has been achieved. Sexual liberation has been turned into an object of validation... which is going backwards. Go ahead, enjoy having sex, but for goodness' sake, do not publicise it to the point of trivialisation, or even necessity!

Education: Are We Getting Stupider?

There has been a substantial amount of speculation about the difficulty of exams and the present intelligence of pupils and students in our country. Following this, Michael Gove has attempted to revert the curriculum to the 'better days' of end-of-year exam based assessments and removing coursework from GCSE exams. But what does this mean for students now? And what does it mean for those of us who have completed the programme in the 2000s with coursework and multiple exams in summer and winter?

I have major concerns about the priorities of young people in the modern era and I believe that TV, video gaming and other distractions are causing not necessarily a drop in intelligence but a loss of desire to learn. A combination of this and the removal of 200 libraries in 2012 would imply a very bleak future for academia. I mean, how many people are really going to bother going to university in the next few years when the fees are so high and the prospects of work are so low? Pupils may as well leave school after GCSEs and find work or apprenticeships... But if this happens, where will the next generation of politicians, managers and teachers come from? The only outcome I can see from Gove's proposals is the disenchantment of students who either fail or simply learn to detest academic life. 

One of the main problems is the removal of coursework. I understand the usefulness of exams in showing sharpness of mind in timed conditions, but coursework has always been a display of deeper contemplation of topic and considered written style. Removing this takes away a substantial element of developing young people's intellects. If there was ever a change to be made to coursework in schools, it should be that at least one piece is written by hand (Yes, it's tedious. I had to do my Dickens coursework by hand, but it meant that the work was more easily identified as my own research and ideas). Yes, coursework is potentially a hot-bed for plagiarism (but there are checks for this) and overly-supportive teachers, but there are ways of remedying this through restrictions on time and staff involvement. I love writing coursework. It's one of my favourite things of being a student at University, as it allows me to do my own research and create something exciting. After my A-Levels, I know how crucial it can be (AQA gave me a B in my AS English exam TWICE. After requesting my scripts back, they were passed around the entire college department and nothing was allegedly wrong with them. The second time I requested my scripts there were comments like: "Not enough knowledge of the text" which would have been fine if it wasn't the UNSEEN EXTRACT PAPER!!!! If it wasn't for my coursework, I probably would have lost my university place.)

Another problem I have with the "easy exam" theory is: What does that make ME? I passed my GCSEs in 2009 and my A Levels in 2011. If exams were "easier" then, what does that mean for my own intelligence? I was one of the top in my class for most of my subjects (Not bragging about anything but how hard I work) but now I feel as though I shouldn't have received 6 A*s and 4 As at GCSE or my A*AABB at A Level! Am I part of the generation of "coasters" who had an easy time of it at school? Or was all my hard work justified? I wouldn't want to find out now that I'm actually fairly stupid and in need of further education...

So I guess I want to know what you think of Gove's plans. Do you think your exams are/were easy? Do you think the reforms are necessary or just? Or do you think we just need to add more variety to the curriculum (texts/theories/eras/practices/etc.)? 

Student Survival: Dealing With Stress

Those of you who have known me for a while will no that I NEVER get stressed and I'm always completely "happy-go-lucky". Oh how I wish that were true... In reality, about 90% of the time, I look exactly like this picture. And I'm very aware of the fact that I'm not alone. In fact, the UK statistics for work-related illnesses say that 428 000 (40%) out of a total of 1 073 000 cases were put down to stress (Labour Force Survey 2011/12). However, I think some people seriously downplay the influences of stress and those who haven't experienced the full force of it can simply dismiss people having problems with the "get yourself together" mentality. Sometimes this just isn't the case. If you get in too deep, it becomes far harder to climb back up to normality. 

As an English student, I don't have a large number of deadlines, and this has two distinct implications: One is that people assume I have a lot of extra time on my hands, and the second (the one people tend to forget) is that the lack of assessed material in my degree means that everything I DO produce has to be absolutely perfect, which can be very trying at times. My own priorities also include other major things like helping on committees and attending societies. In addition to this, I tend to put my friends, colleagues, family and boyfriend before my own interests. It's not a recent realisation that this is a serious health risk, as I was taken out of both school and college at times in order to rest and regain my strength and general ability to function. But when you end up in hospital and having a friend being concerned that you have Acute Stress Disorder (ASD), then "getting yourself together" is a necessity, despite how difficult it is. It looks like this post is turning into an advice article, so here are some warning signs and preventative methods for the more serious forms of stress.

The Symptoms

1. Difficulties/Incapability to sleep. This can be if you can't switch your brain off, leading to the "tossing and turning" problem.
2. This can then lead to nausea caused by exhaustion, which in extremis can be almost debilitating. It will often be noticed by others as paleness and dark circles under the eyes.
3. Finding yourself feeling miserable, irritated or angry at all or most times. I myself only noticed increased anger after my housemates and boyfriend commented on an increase in swearing in conversation.
4. Hysteria. This is probably the biggest sign of needing to talk to someone. Laughing or crying uncontrollably with potentially no reason can be exhausting and occasionally painful. If it happens more than once, I would recommend making either a doctor's or counselling appointment to talk about it as soon as possible, just to get things off your chest and see if it helps.
5. Panic attacks. By this point, I would hope that you'd already taken action towards recovery. In my case, I didn't, then found myself waking up unable to breathe properly and with a hot, stinging rash all over my body. You don't want paramedics in your living room at 6am, do you? It will be the lowest point if this happens, but it's also the problem that you want to avoid.

The coping mechanisms

1. The friendship network: I had three people in particular who became integral in my recovery. Two of them were my best friends and the third was my boyfriend. One thing you MUST remember about these networks is that most people WILL help you if you're in need. My problem was that I didn't feel like I should have been loading off on the people I cared about, but in order to get better, you need to allow yourself to rely upon those who are willing to help. 
2. The professional network: This tends to be really scary for most people to think about, as the word "counselling" or "therapy" means admitting to yourself and to others that something is wrong. My advice here is to seek help in whatever form you feel comfortable with. Sometimes just going to talk to a neutral party for an hour or two to keep your head above ground can be really advantageous. 
3. Identifying your worries: Sometimes just writing down all of the things that are bothering you can be really beneficial. This gives you a list that you can work through methodically in order to clean out your schedule and give your brain a rest. It will also gradually improve your sleeping problems.
4. Personal Structuring: This tends to be the broken link that causes stress to arise. Losing track of time for work, personal health and socialising means the balance is skewed and one or more things in that structure suffer because of it. Whether on your own or with someone else, try to re-allocate your time for these things with equal weighting, as they are all important for prosperous development. It is possibly the most difficult strand on the route to recovery, but is nonetheless the most crucial. 

There are many other things that can be caused by stress and there are many other methods of recovery which you can talk to a professional about, but these are some of the core techniques I learned during my brief but nasty bout with debilitating stress (this year... it'll probably happen again but I'll stand a better chance now). Hopefully it's helpful to everyone dealing with degrees, school or work. There's help out there if you know where to look.

Lad Culture: Where does it all end?

It wasn't until recently that I found Lad Culture to be a problem, as I'd never really experienced it first hand. Sexism is still a problem, even if women are far closer to complete equality than they have ever been. The problem now is that despite their achievements in political and employment circles, women are still degraded by a proportion of men who think it's perfectly fine to objectify and look down upon them. 

The magnitude of the problem was brought to my attention due to the campaign at my University to ban The Sun from shops on campus. I myself voted no, simply due to the fact that I don't believe in banning publications. But I have never bought The Sun and I certainly disagree with the idea of having topless women in a news publication. For a start, there are magazines for that sort of thing on the top shelf (granted not in campus stores, but not far away). Another main problem is that women are portrayed as objects to be looked at and possessed (even if only printed versions of them). 

So the campaign brought to light some very interesting comments from young men who voted no to the ban on grounds very different from my own:

"If women were good enough for these high powered jobs they would be in them, but they're not so they aren't" (One young man justifying why women pose topless for The Sun)

"I respect any woman who'll get her baps out"

"Woman" (Used as an insult towards a man supporting the campaign)

These are only a few and certainly some of the lighter comments that were posted in the facebook group. 

Living in a student-based city, I thought I would be surrounded by like-minded liberals (and I use that term in the least politically-charged way possible) who would practice tolerance and equality. I've come across a  large number of misogynists since then and it has really dimmed my hopeful dreams. But this phenomenon I have seen everywhere. One girl I know is consistently downgraded by her boyfriend in public, and I have on occasion heard him make loaded comments upon her weight. Now, I don't know what happens behind closed doors, and maybe she gives as good as she gets, but at what point did it become OK for guys to say things like that IN PUBLIC about someone who they're meant to care about?

 [Source: Please Stop Being Sad (Tumblr)]

This brings me to my next point: Banter. That seemingly innocent word a few years ago has mutated into a justification for sexist, homophobic and racist humour. It would not surprise me if the aforementioned boyfriend would use the word "banter" if the girl was ever offended by his conduct. The "laddish" types have adopted this as a language of hate and intolerance and it needs to be shut down as the insult to humanity that it is. Jokes are fine in most senses, but if the person on the other end of them being ridiculed for their gender, background or orientation isn't laughing, then that's where to stop. Saying "it's only banter mate, lighten up" is not a legitimate way of continuing. There's taking a joke and there's being insulted. There is a difference. 

Returning from this light to sexism, one of the worrying things about Lad Culture is that they think commenting on a woman's body or SEXUAL attractiveness in a crude manner is complimentary (see comic on left). Don't get me wrong, when my boyfriend makes a comment about how good I look in that respect, I like it a lot, but it's in private and it's coming from someone who I know likes me for more than my appearance.  What I don't like is some random man on the street trying to lure me into a pub to have a drink with him by telling me that I have a "gorgeous big ass". It's not a compliment coming from a stranger like that (and to all those who are thinking it, I was in baggy jeans and a big winter jumper, I was hardly "asking for" a comment like that). If you're going to start valuing people on their appearances, don't be surprised when a girl finally turns round to your "Hey sexy, nice t***" comment with something like "Yeah, like I'd go for someone with your stupid haircut / inadequate muscles / etc". I warn you that it'll happen some day, and you won't like it. You aren't immune to this sort of thing, so don't throw it around as though you're untouchable. 

Women are not meant to be subordinates. We are no less intelligent than men, nor are they any less capable of greatness. There is no reason why they should be confined solely to kitchens, this isn't the 1950s and you're perfectly able to make your own sandwiches. I love to bake and do spend a lot of time in kitchens, but I do it for my own enjoyment and to make both myself and the people I care about happy with sugar-fuelled awesomeness, but at the same time, I'm striving for a career in research, publishing or journalism, things which I know I am capable of achieving. My personal limits do not come from my gender, but from my willpower and ambition, I hope that any future employers will understand that as well as I do. Women should also not be objectified. Admiring beauty and valuing them solely upon it are two distinct things. Appearance should not be the first judging factor of a woman. 

Do these opinions make me a feminist? Yes, probably, but I like to think that it's actually a completely rational point of view to believe this. My argument is for the abolition of objectification and disrespect towards both men AND women, it's just far more prominent towards the latter.

So to all you "lads" out there: I will not stop you from reading The Sun or Nuts or whatever your choice of boob material is, but I can assure you that you would have a far better time with an actual girl with a personality, who you can talk to, go out with and actually genuinely connect with. Hey, if you're lucky, you'll actually get to the point where you see real life breasts on a fairly regular basis, without the hassle of finding someone willing/drunk enough at a club over and over again. But before you get that privilege, you have to learn the respect and compassion that deserves it, and by the time you do that, you'll probably have found that it's not your main priority any more. And if not? Well, I guess that's your loss, and I genuinely pity you.

The Grammar Debate: Can we have some common sense please?

So my younger brother is what people call a "Grammar Nazi" (although I'm not too keen on the terminology). He absolutely relishes the chance to correct anyone if they try to qualify supreme adjectives, like my mum when she accidentally said "very empty" and gets really annoyed when someone says less when describing a countable noun when they should say fewer. This is all very well and good, but the problem is his strict adherence to the rules of grammar and his usage of it for superiority. As an English student, this obviously gets to me...

Correct grammar and spelling are important, they maintain our coherence and prevent language from spiralling. Of course, the influence of different dialects has influenced this, causing words to change their usage: "Where's me book?" for example. But for the most part, people ARE aware of correct forms and uses. Those of us who do use formal grammar on a regular basis, however (I myself have lost most dialect forms having lived and studied in at least three different English counties) can still be caught by these adamant rule-enforcers for perfectly acceptable forms, simply because they are not following the code to the letter:

Me: It doesn't matter. It will take us less than five minutes to get home.

Brother: It's fewer. Fewer than five minutes.

Now, in theory, he's perfectly within his rights to correct me here, but in practice, there is also a logical justification for using "less" in this context. He believed that because it was a quantifiable noun, that "minutes" should always be referred to as "fewer". Fine, I'll agree to the theory. However, in my own opinion, "less" is perfectly acceptable because although there were five minutes in question, that time period itself is a single entity, it is one seamless stretch of time. It can be divided, but cannot be split as time will continue regardless of when one minute ends and the next begins. A perfectly logical conclusion to explain a now common use of this particular structure, no? Apparently not. After being shot down about this, you can imagine how it made my blood boil. I am not advocating the use of the word "less" to replace "fewer" in all cases. Saying "less people" is not comparable to "less time" as it assumes that the people concerned could be amalgamated into one mass.  

I like to think that I speak and write very well. Admittedly, under the influence of tiredness, nerves or duress, I find it hard to string sentences together, but in general I am completely coherent and speak with correct grammatical structures. But as a student of the literature that encompasses this language, I also understand that a certain flexibility is required. This is not to say that we should abandon our grammatical principles completely. They are important, but as with all languages, there are exceptions to these principles. The French have a body known as the Académie Française, which acts as the official regulator for the French language, and from what I can tell, if we had a similar institution in our country, they would officially recognise certain forms such as the one I used and set the record straight (although with Michael Gove at the helm, I wouldn't hold my breath)

So to all those Enforcers out there: You can carry on removing unnecessary qualifiers, and changing them when they really are wrong. Go ahead and fix my spelling and tell people where they've used the wrong form or "Your/You're" or "Their/They're/There". But I ask you, no, I implore you to remember that there can be perfectly logical exceptions. Our language will evolve and require things to change, so I advise you to use your powers for good, not simply to p*** off the rest of us to feel good about your "superior" language knowledge. It's called common sense. There are structures that should be corrected and others that are acceptable, so learn to know the difference, please.